Reflections.

3rd Entry

Especially from the bottom of a dramatist heart...

"What, you are still able to think about your Contract & Consti when the MLS PBL is just around the corner? You know that I didn't sleep the whole night editing and finding idea for your acting!! I didn't ask you more, at least show some appreciation by practicing well. You come late and then you play around and suddenly, you want to go to the other meeting eventhough you realize that you are still having a business here? Okay, I am not going to care anymore. It is up to you. I work day and night to ensure this thing works well, but you simply do not appreciate it. Therefore it is okay. If you are so busy with your own work as if I am not, you set up the time for your practice by yourself. After that only, you call me and I will come. I will not wasting more of my credits. Good bye!..."

This is actually a quotation of mine during my group's practice for the MLS PBL. To be honest, I do not prefer to scold or to mad at anybody. I realize that all of us has grown up and can take care of the responsibilities. But, I am just to stress with the situation at that time which I have to think bout many other things. Especially, when it comes to my experties which is perfoerming arts, I want to ensure that my groups will present not the best performance of the day but the best performance that we can do. I believe all my groupmates have the capabilities to give their best shots. However, during the presentation, there are a lot of things that we planned didn't turn out well. Our presentation become just okay and for me, there are nothing to be proud of. When I go back, I tried to refresh my mind and think of why each time, when it comes to acting, I can't give and train my fellow friends to act well. I have tried to teach my friends singing, dancing and drawing. It turns up well. But, when it comes to acting, I failed. maybe I am not that good in acting but, for god sake I am also not good in drawing and dancing, somehow I can make it. Or may be I am too ego and do not want to give spaces for others to contributes their own ideas or creativities? I, myelf can't answer this. Maybe yes, maybe no.

Now, one thing that I am really sure, I am going to pull back a little bit of my ego. Maybe, because I knew that I am talented in performing arts. That is why, when any assignment involving this area, I will take control of everything. Yes, I mean everything, from script to camera and from props to location. Because I realize, I am not that good in giving motivation to my group mates. What can I see is that, they are working under me with a great tension and not enjoying the situation. Sometimes, I am wondering why other groups can work in such a tension situation but still they can smile and loughing to each other. Huh...

Therefore, after this, I am trying to promise myself that I will not be a leader for any acting projects anymore, in order to see and feel what is the feelings of my team mates when I am scolding they before. I believe if I knew their feelings and their needs, I will be a better leader in the future, and I will be able to direct even better acting. World, please beware because this dramatist will awake soon...Haha..hopefully...

So sorry for the late submission...
Performing artist : Mohamad Afiq Ammar Bin Tulos ( A1282821 )